Are you tired of being the hero?
Are you tired of watching your all-star teammates quit because they’re tired too?
If you’re reading this post, my guess is that you have a big heart. And your big heart wants to contribute well in your organization by solving problems. This leads to one or two situations:
1. You jump in with advice that others aren’t ready for.
2. Others notice you solve problems well. You start solving other people’s problems along with your own. Now, your desire to help has created a cycle of dependence that is draining your time and energy.
No one gets paid enough to do two jobs. And yet we’re too willing to compensate when the stakes are high. Repeat this process enough, and the inevitable attrition starts.
Take heart, there’s a better way. If you’re willing to “grow your people,” as Dan and Chip Heath say in their excellent book Switch, you have to help them think. And the best way to help them think is to ask them questions.
The Art of Asking Powerful Questions
That said, there’s an art to asking powerful questions. While one blog post isn’t enough to cover a comprehensive breakdown, a simple rule of thumb is to use more open-ended questions than closed ones.
In addition to the above principle, here are some other best practices to apply.
Protect the process.
Don’t take shortcuts to save time. It’s a short-term fix with a long-term cost. Yes, urgent fires will call you to put them out quickly. And you can’t afford to give in to their beckoning. Questions like “What have you learned?” make the help-seekers identify valuable lessons. Let them generate insights. Then let them elaborate on what they say. You might be tempted to interject with your own lessons. Don’t! If you do choose to share, do it after they finish sharing.
Don’t disguise advice as questions.
Effective questioning takes people through a process, not a predetermined conclusion. Trust that your people are creative, resourceful, and whole. Feeding them ideas or answers insults their competence. If they lose confidence in their own abilities, they’ll either depend more on yours or resent your approach altogether. The desire to rescue is strong and understandable. And the chances of the other person taking and applying your advice on your terms are slim to none. They may not do what you tell them. They will more likely do what they tell themselves.
Uncover internal challenges.
Asking questions like, “What’s really going on?” “What’s your question?” and “What’s the real challenge here for you?” helps extract the heart of the matter. Struggling to address tardy employees is less about the conversation and more about the struggle to trade popularity for respect. Jumping directly into solutions mode won’t deliver a sustainable benefit unless you know what you’re actually trying to solve. Defining a problem clearly and specifically is half-solved. Tie this back to the first point – know where you need to focus. It’s not on the solution – yet. Your top priority is to get to the heart of the matter.
Stretch their minds.
Using hypothetical questions like, “How do you think I would handle this?” shifts their heads into a different role and bypasses their self-declared limitations. You can even add a fun wrinkle by asking variations like, “How do you think Batman would handle this?” Whichever superhero you insert here is less important than unlocking their latent creativity. This also strengthens their outside-the-box thinking, which means less thinking for you to do on their behalf.
Highlight forward action.
The most effective questions cut through complaining and victimhood. Asking “What’s your next action?” redirects the attention on what’s in a person’s control. If you really want to remove barriers, ask “What’s the smallest step forward you can take?” to increase their chances of clearing the bar by setting it low. Even focusing too much on the lessons can lead to hindsight bias. Wishing for a do-over doesn’t help anyone. Make sure the other person is facing the only direction that matters – forward.
Incorporate specificity and accountability.
“What’s your deadline?” and “Who will hold you accountable?” increase the likelihood of someone actually following through on their commitment. No one wants to disappoint others. No one wants to miss a deadline – especially if stakes are high. Don’t settle for clarity. Specificity matters. Which works better: stating that a report needs to be submitted by “tomorrow at the end of the day,” or “this Friday by 5 pm central?” Stamp out opportunities for assumptions and misunderstandings whenever possible.
More on Powerful Questions
If you’re excited to improve your ability to ask powerful questions, feel free to visit https://www.adaptingleaders.com to schedule a complimentary call or check out other free resources. Until next time!
